Accidental Threesome
by punkfarie
Summary: Sex is just...awkward. One Shot written for the AwkWard Contest.**Third Place Peoples' Choice Winner**


*****Third Place Peoples' Choice Winner*****

**The "AwkWard" Contest****  
****Story Title: Accidental Threesome****  
****Pen name: punkfarie****  
****Disclaimer: Twilight & all it's characters are owned by Ms. Meyers**  
_To see other entries in the "AwkWard" contest, please visit the C2:_  
www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/AwkWard_Contest/78356/

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**xXXx**

"That movie was stupid." Edward muttered as we left the theater.

"Dude, nothing with Jim Carrey in it is stupid. He's a comedic genius," Jasper argued. "Bella, what did you think?"

"Well, it wasn't his best movie…" I trailed off. My best friend rolled his eyes, knowing exactly why I was suddenly anti-Jim Carrey. He knew I wanted Edward to just notice me. To give me the subtle sign that tonight would be another one of 'those nights'.

"Whatever, you both suck. What do we do now?"

"I thought we were going to my house when the movie was over? Edward hasn't seen the new place yet." Yes, my house. Edward in my room. _Let's go_.

"Sounds like a plan, Bella." Edward smiled as he lit a cigarette. The smile, was that a signal? I was blushing just thinking about it.

"It's too early to go home. Let's go to a club or something." Jasper glanced at me over Edward's beautiful sex hair. He had that evil gleam in his eye. He was intentionally trying to be a cockblocker. That fucker! Did I ever cockblock him and Alice? No, I did not.

So I stuck my tongue out at him.

"No man, I'm not really in a club hopping mood. Let's just head to B's house." Edward was staring at me. The tip of his tongue slid out between his lips, licking over the spot where his cigarette had just been. I almost spontaneously combusted.

"Something wrong, Bella? You're all red and blotchy." I really wanted to crotch punch Jasper. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

"I'm fine. Can we just get going, please?" I huffed.

"Okay, okay. Let's go." He reached over to Edward and yanked the cigarette out of his mouth, tossing on the ground. "No smoking in my ride."

"It's a Geo Metro. Not a 'ride'."

"Are you mocking my car?"

"Boys! Enough! I would like to eventually get home." They both grumbled but Jasper opened the doors and I climbed in the back. Edward had previously called shotgun for infinity. It didn't bother me to be stuck in the backseat of this death trap; it gave my mind a change to wander to dirty places without fear of Jasper calling me out. Plus, I got to look at Edward all I wanted and not get caught.

The ride to my place consisted of the boys arguing over radio stations. I was completely ignored. Almost. My mind was deep in fantasy when I felt fingers flutter across my ankle from the front passenger seat. I looked down and saw Edward's skilled fingers reach back behind his seat, seeking my ankles. I met his eyes in the side view mirror. He was giving me the look. The look that said, _'I'm going to do naughty, possibly illegal in this state, things to you once our cockblocking best friend is passed out on the couch'_. I was drooling. Seriously. He chuckled at me when I wiped off my chin.

Thank God something had stopped me from wearing my grandma panties this morning. The Fates smiled upon me.

My house was dark when we pulled into the driveway. "Be quiet incase Mom and Phil are sleeping." I escorted the boys in the house and Jasper took Edward upstairs to my room as I checked my parent's room. I tiptoed to the bedroom and knocked on the door. There was no response, so I opened the door just enough to poke my head in. The bed was empty. That meant they were most likely out with their friends drinking and wouldn't be home until early morning. Which made my plan of seducing Edward a tad easier.

Not that my mom even cared. She once caught Edward and me walking out of my room at two in the morning while I was only wearing a t-shirt. She just shrugged and kept walking. Renee was cool like that.

I grabbed a few beers from the fridge and went up to my room. The first thing I saw upon entering was Edward sprawled out on my bed, a cigarette dangling between his lips. My room was going to stink for a week but I didn't give a shit. At least one of the boys had opened my window. How considerate.

Jasper was browsing through my DVD collection. I handed him a beer and walked over to my bed. Edward's eyes were following me but I pretended not to notice. _Try not to be too obvious there, B. Jasper might take offense to you pouncing Edward while he's picking out a movie._

I sat on the very edge of my bed, my back straight. I was nervous and excited and well...fuck, I was just horny. I was trying to play it cool. Jasper knew about mine and Edward's 'arraignment' but we didn't flaunt it. He was bothered by the thought of his 'little sister' and his best friend doing dirty things to each other.

I reached behind me and gave Edward his beer. I opened mine and took at few small sips. For awhile no one spoke. The only sounds of the room where Edward's occasional puffs of his cigarette, my heart practically thumping out of its chest and Jasper's mumblings over which movie to pick.

Normally, I wasn't this anxious about our bed romps but it had been awhile. He had been dating this chick, Tanya. And we had a rule, no sleeping together while we were in relationships. Apparently that bitch didn't follow the same rules. Now here he was; single and in my bed.

Edward's finger tips tickled the small of my back and it sent a shiver up my spine. I tried to squirm away but he grabbed the hem of my shirt and attempted to pull me backward. I shook my head and he tugged harder on my shirt. I gave in, leaning back on my elbows. "What?"I hissed.

"Come here," he whispered.

"Jasper." I nodded toward Jasper sitting on the floor.

"He's not paying any attention to us. You know how long it takes him to pick out a movie. Plus, I'm just asking you to come closer, not to suck my dick." My heart fluttered a bit at the way he said 'dick'. I wasn't sure why. I just really liked the way he said it. I have serious issues.

"Kay." I leaned back farther but apparently it wasn't good enough for Edward.

"Jesus Christ, B." He scooted closer to me, put his arm under my head and rolled my body to his. I fit perfectly next to him, resting my head on that little spot where his shoulder meets his chest.

"Much better," he mumbled, nestled into me as well.

We had our occasional cuddly moments. Edward wasn't the type to just fuck and leave, at least with me he wasn't. Maybe it was because we were close friends before we crossed that barrier, I don't know. However it was times like this that my mind wandered into forbidden territory and wondered why the fuck we just couldn't date.

_Don't go there, Bella. You'll only get hurt bringing that up._

We snuggled against each other for a few minutes; he was absently playing with my hair and I traced circles with my finger on his chest. It was nice.

Jasper finally made his movie selections and turned around. He frowned when he saw us all cute and cuddly on my bed. "Not tonight you guys, jeez. You two fuck like bunnies."

"Maybe if you didn't take three hours picking out a fucking movie, we wouldn't resort to boning each other for entertainment," Edward quipped.

"Did you seriously just say 'boning'? Anyway, making the right movie selection is a process. I have to gauge my mood, what kind of mood the movie will put me in…"

"Blah, blah, blah." I interrupted. "You've explained this to us. Many, _many _times."

"You know…you guys kinda suck," he said very matter-of-factly. "So, I picked three movies. We are spending the night, right?" He glanced at Edward for confirmation. Jasper almost always spent the night when he came over but Edward didn't.

"That's cool if I sleep over?" He asked me while his fingers twisted a little further into my hair, grazing the back of my neck.

"Yes." My response came out a little breathy. I was granted with a crooked smirk from Edward and a muttering of profanities from Jasper. I cleared my throat and tried again, "Yea sure. My parents aren't even home but it's not like Renee will give a fuck."

"I guess we are crashing here dude."

"Snacks?" Jasper asked.

"Usual place. Why don't you guys go load up on junk food and beer and I'll hook up the DVD player." I rolled off of Edward and took the movies out of Jasper's hand. "I'll pick the first movie." I could see the protest forming but thankfully Edward got off the bed and dragged him out of the room. We'd be here all night if it was left to Jasper to pick the first movie.

I dug my DVD player out of a box that had yet to be fully unpacked and hooked it up. I popped an old school Adam Sandler movie in, one of Jasper's choices and one that I knew would keep him happy. Jasper happy means less comments from the peanut gallery about me and Edward.

In a split second decision I decided to change into my pj's. My house, I might as well be comfortable. Plus it granted easier access. I picked out some loose black flannel pants, which I was pretty sure I had stolen from Jasper at some point, and a black tank. Simple, but I knew Edward's weakness for tank tops. He had a thing about bare shoulders.

I grabbed extra pillows and blanket from my closet and tossed them on the bed as I heard the boys run up the stairs. Their arms were loaded with snacks and booze. "You make a mess in my room and I'm kicking your asses." They both nodded in agreement. They knew I could, in fact, kick their asses. I'd done it before. They didn't fight back since I was a chick, so it wasn't exactly fair but that was beside the point.

It took awhile for us to get situated but we all ended up on my bed, with me in the middle. This wasn't unusual. Jasper and I slept in the same bed a lot. Edward and I had on occasion shared a bed without having sex. "Someday I'm going to make one of you sleep in the middle." I complained in mock irritation.

"Umm…no. We'd end up dick to dick or dick to ass. That's unacceptable." Jasper informed me. I rolled my eyes but I burrowed under the covers next to Edward. We kept the physical touching to a minimum during the first movie. Edward and Jasper were spouting off lines and acting out the scenes. The second movie was an action movie that, surprisingly, Edward had never seen before so Jasper respectfully stayed quiet. I rested my head on Edward's chest and we held hands under the blanket. Jasper only made one or two smart ass remarks.

When that movie ended and Jasper still wanted to watch the third movie, I could tell Edward was getting…frustrated. He was waiting for Jasper to excuse himself, like usual and then crash on the couch. We would never just outright kick him out of the room so we could go at it but he knew the game. Edward and I weren't this affectionate unless we had 'plans'.

Halfway through the movie, I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. Jasper obviously had no intentions of leaving Edward and me alone. I mentally laid a curse on him that the next time him and Alice wanted to have sex; he wouldn't be able to get it up.

I was fading fast and Edward noticed. He kissed my forehead softly, "I'm sorry, B. Next time?"

"Okay." I tucked my head below his chin and before I knew it, I was out. I dreamt of doing kinky things with Edward but Adam Sandler was there doing a running commentary in funny voices and Bruce Willis was setting up a sniper scope in the window. It wasn't exactly the sexiest sex dream.

I felt a hand under my shirt, brushing against my nipple. I wasn't sure if it was the dream or real life. Either way, I was enjoying it. The hand rolled my nipple between it's fingers and I let out a moan.

"Bella, wake up." I heard in a sing songy whisper. "Bella."

I recognized the voices as Edward's and opened my eyes. My room was dark, with only the street lamps outside for light. The TV was off and yes that was actually Edward's hand under my shirt playing with my tits.

"Huh hmm mmm wha?" My brain was still sleeping. I could feel Edward's hands wandering and his lips on my ear. I was only partially aware of what was actually going on.

"Mmmm, Bella," he moaned softly. He shifted his hips slightly and what I felt against my leg was definitely not a flashlight and he was very happy to see me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I stopped his hand and turned my face to his. "What is…uh…going on here?" I made a gesture toward his crotch.

"What, you don't want to?"

"No. I mean yes. I mean…wait." I reached my hand behind me and patted around until I came across Jasper's sleeping form. I drew my hand back like I'd burned it. I did not want to wake him up right now. "Jasper is sleeping right next to us."

"He's a heavy sleeper." He was breathing in my ear again and that always made me a little weak but the thought of having sex on the same bed that my best friend was sleeping on kept my legs closed.

"Yea, I don't think so." I snorted.

"That cute little snort of yours is such a turn on."

"Oh my god. Just shut the fuck up. Why don't we just go on the couch?"

"I heard your parents come home." I had no response. I wanted to, I _really _wanted to but I just…couldn't. "Come on, please? I really don't feel like whacking off in your bathroom."

"Edward, no…just no." I was a little shocked that he was being dead serious about this. Was this a guy thing? That you could just fuck no matter where you were, or who was in the room?

"Hey, Jasper fucked Alice on the bottom bunk while I was sleeping on top and let me tell you, she is not quiet and she has quite the dirty mouth for someone so tiny." I giggled at the mental image this information brought. Alice bouncing on top of Jasper, cussing like a sailor. "We'll…go slow. I'll try not to dazzle you too much with my skills so that you cry out in pleasure uncontrollably."

"Ha! Like that's going to happen."

"Are you questioning my skills?" Even in the darkness, I could tell he was smirking. That teasing little smile that made me get all warm and fuzzy. His hand slide down my stomach, into my pants and between my legs. I didn't stop him. What harm could a little finger action do? It wasn't going to rock the bed.

Jesus, I was weak.

I let him do his thing and buried my head into his chest to stifle any noise. I was enjoying it a bit too much. Soon I was lost in finger fucking heaven and before I knew exactly what was going on, my pj pants where around my ankles and Edward was rolling on top of me while undoing his belt buckle.

He's a smooth one, that Edward.

Edward's lips were on my neck, nibbling that spot he knew made my eyes roll back into my head. I half heartedly protested this new development. There were dizzying kisses and teasing caresses and my body was totaling failing in the self control department. It was responding to him like he was willing it with his mind.

Edward pushed himself inside me and I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. We had sex sans condom but that wasn't unusual. I was on birth control and both us got tested on a regular basis. He was the _only _person I trusted enough to do that with.

He found a gentle, slow rhythm that didn't rock the bed…much. I desperately hoped that whatever my knee was rubbing up against was an extra pillow and not Jasper's ass.

I let myself go in the moment. I focused on Edward and the things he was doing and how it made me feel and how many buried deep feelings I truly had for him. That seemed to erase the creep factor of fucking next to Jasper. He hid his face in my neck, blocking his noises. He could be pretty loud for a guy.

I lifted my head slightly so Edward's lips could reach that tiny spot behind my ear, when I heard it. The unmistakable sound of my stereo clicking and whirling to find the right CD.

My alarm.

Fuck!

My stupid ass forgot to turn off my stereo alarm. The volume was set on high; that was the only way I would get out of bed at six for class. I immediately started groping for the remote.

"Shit, shit, shit," I whispered loudly.

"What?" Edward seemed both annoyed and worried.

"My fucking stereo is about to turn on."

"Shit." He reached out his hand with mine so he could help find the remote. We were in full panic mode. After what felt like a lifetime, my fingers found the remote. We were about ten seconds too late. Disturbed blasted through my speakers before I could get my fingers to properly push the power button.

We both froze; hoping that those ten seconds of hard rock did not wake up Jasper. There was no reaction. I dared to sigh with relief when Jasper cleared his throat.

"So, umm…I was awake this whole time." It was several seconds before the words actually registered. He was awake. He was awake. He. Was. _Awake_.

Dear Lord, fucking kill me now.

"What?" Edward choked out. He still had his head in my neck, afraid to look as Jasper. I was unmoving, still in a state of shock, my face thankfully hidden by Edward's head. "Dude."

"Well…I mean…yea." Jasper was a loss for words.

"Why the fuck didn't you say something?"

"I didn't want to ruin your moment." Edward's head snapped up and gave Jasper the strangest look. It was a mixture of uncomfortable, shock, a little bit 'Whoa, dude. You're a sick fuck' and awe? Like it was a cool guy thing to do to let your friends go at it while you're in the room. I will never fucking understand guys. Ever.

"Are you serious?"

"No, I'm not fucking serious! Jesus Christ, you think I wanted to listen to….that? I didn't know at first…I was still half asleep and I thought I was dreaming…I didn't think you guys would actually…then I heard Edward's belt buckle…and B was kneeing me in the ass….I kinda just closed my eyes and hoped it would be over soon." He sighed. "This is so fucking wrong," Jasper muttered.

Silence.

I was dying, seriously fucking dying of embarrassment and shame. Apparently the boys were too since they weren't speaking. They always had a comment or a one-liner ready. Not this time. I think this was the only time in the history of our friendship that I've seen both boys speechless.

The silence became too much. Jasper let out this half sigh, half whistle, "So...umm…yea…I'm just gonna go," he announced. He scooted off the end of the bed, taking extra care to avoid touching us. He made a show of covering his eyes with his hand, and groped around the room until he found the door. It wasn't until I heard him going down the stairs that I breathed a sigh of relief.

Edward and I avoided eye contact for a few minutes. I just couldn't look at him at this point. I was never going to live this down. Jasper would rub this in my face until the day I died. I've done some pretty embarrassing things in my lifetime but this…._this _was stupid, embarrassing, and slightly disturbing. And gross, let's not forget gross.

"You alright, B? You kinda look like a tomato." His voice was filled with genuine concern. I did what I did best, made a socially awkward experience worse. I busted out into uncontrollable laughter.

There were tears streaming down my face. Edward wasn't bothered by this behavior; this wasn't the first time I've cracked under pressure. Back in high school, I fell off the stage during the school play and broke my wrist. My costume ripped during the fall and I flashed the entire audience. I laughed the whole time waiting for the ambulance. I think the paramedics were considering send me to the pysch ward.

He waited patiently for me to finish. When my giggles were reduced to hiccups I realize that Edward had yet to pull out. He was limp but still inside me. The knowledge that the whole time Jasper was talking to us, we still had some insertion going on started the laughing fit over again. It felt like ages before I was able to control myself, but it was probably only a minute or two.

I moved my hips and Edward caught the hint. "Oh fucking shit. I'm so sorry, B." As he pulled out, I noticed the tips of Edward's ear were red and was pretty sure this was the first time I'd ever seen him embarrassed. It was kind of cute. I quickly banished that thought, since that kind of thinking was what got us into this fucking mess in the first place.

"I'm fine. Just never going to be able to look Jasper in the face again."

"It's not going to be that bad." I shot him a _'are you fucking serious?' _look. "Okay, yea…it's going to be pretty bad but not forever! Soon, you'll do something else and he'll forget all about this." I could tell he didn't really believe that but at least he was being sweet.

"What about you?"

"Me? I could care less. All I care about is that I scored with this sexy chick." I blushed again. He kissed my forehead and lingered a little longer than necessary. "You know…I don't think he's gonna come back…"

"Wow…um…no offense, Edward but it's so not gonna happen right now."

"Well, it never hurts to try."

"Yea, whatever. Can we…uh….get out of bed now? I don't want to give Jasper a chance to tell Renee anything." Edward nodded and let me up. We took turns in the bathroom. I straightened myself up and mentally prepared myself to come face to face Jasper.

We walked downstairs hand in hand, only separating when we reached the kitchen. Renee was serving up pancakes and eggs. Jasper didn't look up from his plate and stuffed his mouth with food as we all said our good mornings. My mom served us and we ate without speaking. Her eyes flitted back and forth between us.

"Did I miss something?" she asked. Jasper shuffled his feet under the table, Edward drank his juice and I bit my nails. We were being completely obvious but Renee took the hint. "You know what…based on that reaction, I don't think I want to know." She wiped her hands on the dishrag and threw it on the counter. "Clean up when you're done," she reminded us as she left the kitchen.

When we were finished, we cleaned up as Renee requested and then just stood in the kitchen. Shifting our feet, clearing throats, avoiding eye contact. I was tempted to go to Edward and hide my face in his chest but I knew that would just set Jasper off and I wasn't ready for his comments yet.

Jasper's cell phone chirped, it was Alice asking him to come pick her up. "Oh, thank fucking God," he said. "Let's go, dude." He motioned Edward to follow him, and then pointed at me. "You…you, little missy, you and I are going to have a discussion later."

"What the fuck ever, Jazzyboy." I stuck my tongue out at him and he left to say goodbye to Renee. Edward and I were alone in the kitchen. He walked to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble with Jasper. I shouldn't have...done…that."

"It's okay Edward. I could've said no, but I didn't. It's…eh…If Jasper keeps bringing it up I'll just remind him of the time I busted him jerking off after he caught Alice naked in the bathroom." We both laughed at the memory of me running down the stairs at my old house shouting _'Ew_ _ew_ _ew_ _ew'_.

"Well how about I make it up to you?"

"Well…uh…okay. How?"

"I want to take you out on a date. No sex involved. A real date, where I open your doors, and pay for shit and I kiss you on your porch and then say goodnight." Inside I was screaming like an 'N Sync fangirl. A date. A real fucking date!

"Yea, sure. Sounds great." My voice squeaked slightly at the end. _You are so suave, Bella_.

"Awesome. I'll call you later tonight." I nodded excitedly. I probably looked like a bobblehead.

"Hurry the fuck up, Cullen!" Jasper called from the living room.

"I'm fucking coming!" He rolled his eyes and kissed me on the cheek. "Later." I watched him walk away, totally checking out how hot his ass looked in those jeans.

I did an uncoordinated little twirl in the kitchen, so excited I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I tried. I was going to have my chance with Edward. _Finally_.

**xxXXxx**

**A/N : thank you to larin20, HopelessRomantic79 and MissSnazzy. **

**Thank you to AngstGoddess and manyafandom for hosting this contest. **

**I hope this was awkward enough. It was awkward to write if that counts for anything….**

**10 points if you can guess the Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, and Bruce Willis movies referenced. **


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